Emotional Development and Christian Hope
I've been reading the booklet On the Law of God (Synaxis Press) by Metropolitan Philaret of New York (this is not to be confused with the book Law of God by Seraphim Sobodsky, which is also a wonderful book).
Today I read the section on emotional development in children and found it very helpful. I know I fall into the category of parents who try to raise their children in a "greenhouse". So many times, out of fear of what the world breeds, I try to shelter my children and keep them away from many of the things their souls really need to be exposed to. I know, I know, I try not to but sometimes you catch yourself doing it completely unaware.
One section reads, "Unfortunately, in many good Orthodox Christian families, life is arranged in such a way that the parents consciously guard their children from contact with human need, sorrow, heavy difficulties and trials. Such an excessive protection of children from sober reality brings only negative results. Children who have grown up under greenhouse conditions, separated from life, grow up soft, spoiled and not well adjusted for life..."
I think many times this is overlooked by us as parents. We think we're doing the right thing by keeping our child protected from certain things, when in reality it is these very things that they must learn to deal with. How will they handle these trials later in life? This goes back to my decision to send them to school. As much as my heart yearns for them to be home with me forever, deep down I know that they must learn to function in society. I've said this before, I believe there needs to be a certain balance in a child's life in order for homeschooling to be effective and in our lives school provides that balance. If you live in an area where your child has efficient exposure to other children, than I think homeschooling is the perfect solution for you. Unfortunately, we do not. If my children were to be homeschooled, they would see no other children, save the half dozen kids at church on Sunday. So, I am thankful for the opportunity that school has provided both Ace and myself in leaving our "greenhouse". Now, I just need to work on everything else...
Now, this being said I have to also remind you that this does not, by any means, imply that I think children should be tossed into the world to "experience life". It simply means that I need to look closely at the things I shelter them from and decide whether or not I am truly doing this for their salvation or if it is a result of my fear of what they might encounter. If after examining the situation I still feel it's best to keep them away from something or someone, than I will do so with a clean conscience. If not, maybe I should give them a little more line.
Metropolitan Philaret continues by saying that one of the most important things we can teach our children is to have Christian hope. To help them understand that wherever they go, they are under the protection of God and to help them see the infinite vault of Heaven even while living in the physical world. This hope will sow anticipation in their hearts for the "resurrection of the dead and the life of the kingdom to come. Amen."
I think this is so important. It's so easy to fall into despair thinking about all of the things going on in the world but I need to have Christian hope. I need to find comfort and courage in God.
You can read the remainder of this section here.
So now the question I am asking myself is, What other areas of our lives are "greenhoused"? How can I change that to the benefit us spiritually?
What about you? In what ways do you live in a greenhouse?
BTW, I ran across this t-shirt on OrthodoxChristianChildren.com and thought it was really cute, so I wanted to share:
