Potty Mouth Syndrome & Orthodox Christians
At the beginning of the summer, I had coffee with another mom from school. She reads this blog and will often ask me questions about Christianity and what the Orthodox Church says about different things. She is a Christian, and at the time was looking for a new church to join. I knew she had been trying different ones out and asked her how her search was going. She told me about one she had been attending for the last couple of months.Our conversation went something like this:She said, "I went there for awhile and everyone was really nice, the pastor was really good but...""But what?" I asked."I don't know, after a couple months, I just felt like I didn't fit in. It's weird, everyone goes to Bible study on Wednesday nights and quotes Scriptures, but then we leave and they talk like truck drivers. It was a big turnoff."She went on to tell me how she felt like she got more out of the Bible at home and was going to keep searching. I immediately whispered a prayer begging God to forgive me if I have ever chased someone from Him with my big mouth. Kyrie Ihsou Xriste Eleison Me... 
I will admit that back in the day, I suffered from some serious pms. Potty Mouth Syndrome, of course.
In 1998, when I started really looking into what our Faith was, I began to realize what a nasty habit I had. A habit, I never even realized was so, well, nasty. I was suddenly so embarrassed by the way I spoke.I had all this new zeal, all this new knowledge about Orthodoxy and I wanted to shout it from the rooftops. And I did. But no one really listened. Some people seemed interested, but not for long. Finally, I realized why. I was shouting from the rooftops alright, but my choice of words wasn't very appealing. I was making very little effort to "practice what I preached."
To this day, whenever I read quotes and prayers like the following, I cringe at myself because of the things I know I've said and beg for forgiveness.
What do you think when you read these verses?
"Let nothing unwholesome come out of your mouths, but only what is useful for building up others, so that it might help those who listen." Ephesians 4:29
and
"Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so." James 3:10
Whenever I prepare to receive communion I read the pre-communion prayers,
"O Lord my God, I know that I am not worthy or sufficient that You should come under the roof of the house of my soul, for all is desolate and fallen, and You have not with me a place fit to lay Your head. But as from the highest heaven You humbled Yourself for our sake, so now conform Yourself to my humility..."
and,
"I know, O Lord, that I partake of Your immaculate Body and precious Blood unworthily, and that I eat and drink judgment to myself by not discerning the Body and Blood of You ~ my Christ and God. But taking courage from Your compassion I approach You, for You have said: “He who eats My Flesh and drinks My Blood abides in Me and I in him.” Therefore have compassion, O Lord, and do not make an example of me, a sinner, but deal with me according to Your mercy..."
I read them and all of my sins begin to appear before me. The overwhelming realization of what a hypocrite I really am, shows itself and covers me in shame.
So many times I wonder why things aren't happening in my life as they should be. Why am I not progressing spiritually as I should be? I'm reading spiritual books, I'm praying more, I'm doing my very best. But am I? No. Not really.
I'm doing what comes easily, what my soul yearns for, but it stops at every door that requires sacrifice to open.
St. Seraphim of Sarov said, "Save yourself and thousands around you will be saved."
And this is what we should be striving for. To save thousands around us, beginning with the people closest to us. Beginning with ourselves.
For so long, I seriously thought that wasn't my job. It wasn't MY job to save the world. But really it is. It's all of our job. Christ told us the second greatest commandment is to love our neighbor as ourselves. So, if we love them, don't we want them to be saved? Now, this *does not* mean it's our job to correct them. It means that our job is to correct ourselves, and God-willing through His Grace, we will all find salvation.
And, I'll tell you, it was a struggle for me to stop using cuss words. Sometimes, one will still try to slip through my lips in moments that I'm feeling overwhelmingly frustrated. But I've learned what happens when I do. Immediately the guilt comes. Then the tears. The Grace God allowed me to feel, in all of my unworthiness, leaves and I am left barren. And I hate that feeling. It is the loneliest, saddest, most terrifying feeling in the world.
Cutting it off was quite a struggle, but over time and with the help of the Jesus Prayer, it became much easier. I thank God for this. I thank Him that He gave me the strength to stop before I had children and passed my nasty habit on to them.
How would I look to my children, teaching them the praises of God while cursing? I want to be a godly and pious mother. Not a trendy and angry one.
Sometimes it's true, old habits die hard, but, they can die. They do die. Every single day through prayer and struggle. You have to cut it off. People will never take you or your faith seriously, if you don't. Think about how it looks to be asking Christ for his mercy and blessings in one breath and then making jokes or having "normal" conversation using foul language in the next.
We don't realize what an impression we make by the way we speak and carry ourselves. That alone, makes people decide if we're worth being around. Scripture also tells us to let our lights shine before men, so that men seeing that light will glorify our Father in Heaven. Are we allowing Christ's light to shine through us? Or are we snuffing His light out ourselves?This also reminds me of Elder Paisios' homily on The Fly and The Bee (which I don't think I've ever posted, but will soon.) We attract what we put out. If we put out cursing and ungodliness that is exactly what we will attract. We reap what we sow.
We need to remember, that every time we cuss or post something online, or text message something with nasty language in them, not only are we sinning but we're causing our neighbors to stumble as well. And it's a domino effect. They'll pass it on to someone else and then someone else and the cycle never stops. You have to be big enough to stop it yourself. We will answer for all of these things someday. The Scriptures tell us,
"Every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment." Matt. 12:36
So, stop and ask yourself: Are blessings and curses coming from your mouth? How do you think that makes God feel? Are you trying to control it? If not, today is the perfect day to begin. :)