Letters from Mommy <3

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I've always been a writer. For most of my life my writing was limited to what I wrote in my diaries.  I've kept a diary for as long as I could remember.

When I found out I was pregnant with Ace, I noticed my entries were beginning to start off with Dear Baby instead of Dear Diary. I just instinctively wanted to write to the little babe in my womb. So, I bought a new diary, decorated it with scrapbook paper and I wrote all throughout my pregnancy. All of my thoughts, feelings, hopes and dreams were recorded within the pages of that book. My hope was, that I would continue writing these long, heartfelt messages to him throughout his life. I wanted to record personal details of what happened at each milestone he reached.

And I did. For about six months, maybe. Those long heartfelt letters quickly turned into scribbles in the margins with quick, hurried notes like 2/18 crawled around house looking for mommy. 5/18 had solids for first time. {You can see a couple of pics of them here.}

When his first birthday neared, I knew I wanted to give him more than a quick margin note and so I wrote him a letter. I sat at the kitchen table and just cried and wrote. Writing that letter was so soothing to my soul. It felt so wonderful to reminisce on everything that year had brought. I'm the type of mom that mourns every passing phase. I don't try to hurry life along, it moves too quickly for me already. I try to savor every moment, good or bad. Because I know once it's gone, it's gone. Whenever I catch myself becoming too anxious for things to come, I remind myself of this. I picture my boys as little babies and toddlers and then I look at them grown into real life little boys and I'm instantly reminded not to blink. To just be patient and enjoy today.

That letter helped give the year a proper closure.

When I was finished, I picked up Ace and snuggled him on the couch and read him his letter. I know he didn't understand anything that I read. He just loved being in my lap and being read to, so he willingly complied. I'm still not sure who those letters are really for, them or me.

Then I folded it up and placed it in an envelope.

When I found out I was pregnant with Lucky and Sprout, I did the same thing. I started journals for them, writing in them as much as I could while I was expecting and then just filling in the margins with important dates and milestones. There's not much time for writing letters with three adventurous little men. Except on their birthdays.

Every year, after the cake is gone and milk cups empty, I tuck them into bed and remind them how I'm the luckiest mom in the world because God gave me them two, five, nine years ago. Sometimes, I'll climb into bed with them and at their request, read them letters from birthdays past. They love hearing about silly things they did throughout the year or being reminded of moments they accomplished something that made them proud. I always get choked up when I read my hopes for their future and I silently pray that I am blessed to be there to witness all of the important moments of their lives. They're little faces beam with pride and they hear all of the wonderful things they're mommy thinks of them and they know that these letters are written especially for them from me.

When they're asleep, I pour a cup of tea, grab a notebook and pen and head to the couch to begin writing their special letter.

The envelopes have begun to get too thick too fast. Ace will need a new envelope soon, as his is nearly stuffed. I mainly write only on birthdays, but I did sneak one in when he started school. I'll do that next year for my Lucky too. And for Sprout, a few years after that.

I may not have a baby book that is perfectly recorded with the date of every new tooth or photo albums organized by date and event. But I do have a box with three envelopes full of more love, happiness and hope that one heart can hold addressed to three little boys who mean the world to me. And for this mother, that's quite enough.

If you want to start a Letters from Mommy box for your children, here are some things I try to write about in each letter:

• recap of the year's best moments; becoming a big brother, starting school, hitting a homerun, first school play or concert.
• what you love most about them that year; how generous they are, how forgiving, how kind or helpful, how curious, playful, funny.
• what you want them to know; they are never alone. God and His saints are always there for them, they'll never regret doing what's right, you will love them forever, no matter how near or far. no matter how old they get, they're never too old to hold my hand or cry on my shoulder.
• your prayer for them; they will learn the importance of following God's commandments and how to love him with all their hearts, stay as innocent and sweet as they are at that moment. put Him above all else and everything will work out fine.

Write whatever your heart is saying. Don't be afraid to put your thoughts down on paper. Sometimes the silliest thoughts become the most cherished because they're the most real. And it's never too late. For anything.