Red Balloons for Ryan
Most of you have probably seen photos of that precious little redhead Ryan Saldana and the hashtag #redballoonsforryan flooding the social media feeds over the past week. People all over the country are #wearingredforryan today. Including all of us.Ryan was tragically hit by a truck while chasing a frisbee last Friday night. His mom Jacqui blogs over at Baby Boy Bakery. It's amazing how small this community of bloggers really is. While you don't know everyone, you pretty much know of almost everyone. I don't know Jacqui but I made her Toasted Marshmallow Milkshakes a couple of summers ago. And I just bookmarked her Gluten Free Banana Oat Muffins the other day. It's amazing how unintentionally our lives all become intertwined through this world wide web.Red balloons are being released on Sunday, Mother's Day, in honor of Ryan and his mama. People, strangers mostly, from everywhere are sending off balloons, wearing red, holding charity events, selling their handmade goods and donating the profits to the family. Some people say you can't form real relationships online but I think instances like this prove them wrong. I've seen #bloggersunite time and time again to help each other. To help carry someone else's burdens and ease their pain, someone they've never even met in person. That's real enough for me.
As a mom, this type of news hits you right in the gut. And then it pierces your heart. This is something no mother, no parent, should ever have to experience. I could picture his pudgy little face surrounded by those gorgeous red curls of his. Situations like this immediately make you want to do something. But what? Nothing will ever bring this little boy back, nothing can "fix" this but people pulling together to help can make a difference.Tragedies like this always give us a major shift in perspective. We look at our children differently, our patience grows, we forgive a little more easily. We begin to see the everyday things in our lives as the blessings they really are. Those dirty socks on the floor become more like treasures than a chore waiting to be done. The rocks from their pockets that you fished out of the washer now take a prominent place on the mantle. All those little signs of life.These photos...these photos. How many of us have some of these exact photos of our children? It's heart-wrenching. My heart is literally broken for them right now.
The brittle edges, all those things that really aren't important at all, break away and we're left with the core of it all--the things that really matter. There are very few really. Faith, family, health. That's what life is really about, isn't it? In the end it doesn't matter that you didn't run the errands you needed to or the house isn't as clean as it should be. Nothing matters except having the people you love to hold on to at the end of each day. Times like this remind us that the only thing we really need to do is love and pray.Love your babies and hold them tight, tell them how much you love them. Clean less and play more. Do more listening than talking. Give more hugs and kisses. Read more bedtime stories. Live. More. Because in an instant it can all be changed forever. And most importantly, pray. Pray that God will guide our lives according to His will and give us strength and peace during our struggles.In the end, we have to put our trust in God and His plan. We have to remember all of the blessings and moments we had with those we loved and were taken from us and promise to move forward. As impossible as that may seem. We have to live to keep their memories alive. In the Orthodox Church, we respond to death with "May his/her memory be eternal." That's so comforting to me. Memories are something we all cling to, especially when it comes to losing those we love. We want memories and we want them forever.Below are several excerpts on "Painful Losses" from the book Orthodox Christian Parenting:
Elder Paisios the Athonite- "Children who fall asleep in the Lord at an early age go straight to paradise, like the angels. And when their parents pass away, these little angels welcome them in heaven with lit candles. Parents are spiritually rewarded by their children-angels."St. Ignati of Brianchaninov- "When affliction of pain approaches, we remember Him vividly and with fervor, then we pray most ardently. And our holy God is pleased with this, just as a mother is pleased when her child seeks her with heartfelt pain, for in this she discerns love. Entrust your heart in simplicity to Him, by Whom all the hairs of your head are numbered. He knows the measure of the healing cup that you should be given. Look often on Jesus standing before those who put Him to death: He was delivered to death, to be slain as a defenseless sheep. Do not take your eyes from Him, and your suffering will be transformed into a heavenly spiritual sweetness. The wounds of your heart are healed with the wounds of Jesus."Elder Ephraim of Arizona- "My children, always remember Jesus so that in all your weaknesses you may find the appropriate medicine. Are you in pain? By calling on Jesus you will find relief and enlightenment. Are you in affliction? Call on Jesus and behold, consolation will dawn in the realm of your heart. Are you overcome by discouragement? Do not neglect to set your hopes on Jesus, and your soul will be filled with courage and strength. No matter how man is tried, he always benefits when he shows the corresponding patience and gratitude during the trial, when he sees the lightness of his soul, the clarity of his mind, and the sweetness that comes to his inner self. Let us pray to be granted knowledge and patience in life's miseries, so that we may gain salvation."
That last sentence sums it all up really. Let us pray to be granted knowledge and patience in life's miseries, so that we may gain salvation.One of Jacqui's best friends, Alissa of Diary of an Addict wrote,"I promised her that Ryan would not be forgotten,we can make sure that doesn’t happen.We can use our voices for good.To tell a story,of a little boy who loved life and his family,who laughed often,who loved to snuggle his mommy and daddy.And to tell the story of two parents who are loving each otherstrongly and beautifully through this tragedy, through this unexplainable loss."I want Jacqui to know as well. Ryan will not be forgotten. He will be remembered every time we look our own children in the eyes--a reminder that life is oh too fleeting and that every moment should be cherished. He will be remembered every time any of us sees a head full of curly red hair. Or a red balloon.May his memory be eternal...
Stop by Baby Boy Bakery and let Jacqui and Dan know that you are praying for them. Or visit them on Facebook and Instagram @babyboybaker & @danno12. They want their photos with Ryan shared, their story told. Words are so powerful. Use your voice.